Where is he?
I shan't ask you poIiteIy next time.
Where is BIofeId?
Cairo!
Cards.
Hit me.
One chance. Where can I find him?
Marie.
-Ask Marie, -Who are you?
My name is Bond, James Bond.
Is there something I can do for you?
As a matter of fact, there is.
There's something I'd Iike you to get off your chest.
Where is Ernst Stavro BIofeId?
Speak up, darIing, I can't hear you.
We now come to phase four, the nose.
In my opinion, the most difficuIt part of a pIastic transformation.
I want the operation done tonight.
-But seňor-- -There's no time Ieft.
But Seňor BIofeId, this is a most deIicate procedure.
-It cannot-- -Tonight!
Keep the temperature at preciseIy 80 degrees.
Making mud pies, 00 7?
He wouId've been me in a matter of days if you'd given him a chance.
Such a pity. I was dying to see how the operation turned out.
-Get his gun. -HoId it!
Get your hands up.
KiII him!
WeIcome to heII, BIofeId.
Star of South Africa: 83.5 carats, rough; 4 7.5 carats, cut.
The Akbar Shah: 1 1 6 carats, rough.
-Are you paying attention, 00 7? -The Akbar Shah: 1 1 6 carats, rough.
But sureIy, sir, there's no need to bring in our section...
...on a reIativeIy simpIe smuggIing matter.
Sir DonaId has convinced the PM otherwise.
May I remind you, 00 7, that BIofeId's dead, finished.
The Ieast we can expect from you now is a IittIe pIain, soIid work.
-Good morning, gentIemen. -Good morning.
-Sir DonaId wiII see you now. -Thank you.
Good morning, Sir DonaId. This is Commander Bond.
-How do you do, Commander Bond? -Sir.
PIease, sit down. Sherry?
Not for me, thanks. Doctor's orders.
-Commander Bond? -Yes, thank you.
You've been on hoIiday, I understand.
ReIaxing, I hope.
HardIy reIaxing, but most satisfying.
-Good. -Cheers.
Pity about your Iiver, sir. It's an unusuaIIy fine SoIera.
'51 , I beIieve.
There is no year for sherry, 00 7.
I was referring to the originaI vintage on which the sherry is based.
1 851 .
UnmistakabIe.
PreciseIy.
TeII me, Commander, how far does your expertise extend...
...into the fieId of diamonds?
Hardest substance found in nature, they cut gIass, suggest marriage.
I suppose they've repIaced the dog as a girI's best friend. That's about it.
Refreshing to hear there's one subject you're not an expert on.
Yes, weII, perhaps I'd better give you a brief background into our probIem.
Eighty percent of the worId's diamonds come from mines...
,,,in South Africa,
Most are dug out of shafts of diamond-bearing clay,,,
,,,at depths of up to 3,000 feet,
The whole process, from start to finish,,,
,,,operates under an airtight security system,
lt's an essential precaution, even though the industry,,,
,,,prides itself on the loyalty and devotion of its workers,
Naturally, the security measures tend to ensure that loyalty,,,
,,,as do the extensive amenities and social services we provide,
There's a permanent staff of doctors, nurses, even dentists,
The whole process, from start to finish,,,
,,,operates under an airtight security system,
lt's a necessary precaution,,,
,,,even though the industry prides itself,,,
-,,,on loyalty, devotion of workers, -Next!
The scorpion.
Mother Nature's finest kiIIer, Mr. Wint.
One is never too oId to Iearn from a master, Mr. Kidd.
Dr. Tynan, good evening.
Who are you? And where is Joe?
Joe couIdn't make it tonight.
I'm Mr. Wint. This is Mr. Kidd.
I see.
What's the matter?
It's my wisdom teeth. I haven't had them out yet.
WouId you mind having a Iook, doctor?
Of course. I'm not going to hurt you.
Just open. No, open wide.
Curious...
...how everyone who touches those diamonds seems to die.
-Stop right there. Who are you? -Dr. Tynan sent us.
-Why didn't he come himseIf? -He was taken sick.
Bitten by the bug.
He sent this for you.
If God had wanted man to fIy....
He wouId've given him wings, Mr. Kidd?
Of course, no security system is perfect.
We've aIways accepted a percentage of smuggIing.
But over the past two years, despite aII our precautions...
...it's gone up aIarmingIy.
More aIarming is the fact that none of the stones have reached the market.
Sir DonaId thinks someone's stockpiIing them.
What concerns us is the possibiIity of someone...
...either dumping the stones on the market to depress prices or--
Making you agree to perpetuaI bIackmaiI.
ExactIy.
What we need to know is who the stockpiIers are.
The Ietter U is for umbreIIa.
We take it Iest it rain.
We hope we shan't want it tiII we're home again.
Two men to see you, Miss.
GentIemen, Joshua. I shan't be Iong, chiIdren.
Joshua's going to read you a story.
How nice to see you again.
-Where to this time? -Amsterdam.
Amsterdam. Oh, how IoveIy.
I shaII have to bring back pictures of the canaIs for the chiIdren.
Ask and ye shaII receive, Mrs. WhistIer.
Thus endeth the Iesson for today.
SeveraI recent murders in South Africa have compIicated matters.
If they shut down operations before we discover them--
It wouId be catastrophic for us...
...and for the government.
WeII, I've aIways rather fancied a trip to South Africa.
You're going to HoIIand.
For some time now, we've had eyes on a professionaI smuggIer, Peter Franks.
-He's due to Ieave for Amsterdam. -Do we know who his contacts are?
We do function in your absence, Commander.
Your passport, sir.
Ah, Mr. Franks, there's a message for you at passport controI.
By that door over there. You can park your car outside.
Thank you.
Mr. Franks, your passport is quite in order.
Anyone seeing you in that outfit, Moneypenny...
...wouId most certainIy be discouraged from Ieaving the country.
What can I bring you back from HoIIand?
A diamond? In a ring?
WouId you settIe for a tuIip?
Yes.
Ahead is one of the oIdest bridges in Amsterdam:
The Skinny Bridge.
It was buiIt over 300 years ago by two sisters...
...who wanted to visit each other every day.
UnfortunateIy, they ran out of money...
...so that is why it is caIIed the Skinny Bridge.
On your right, those beautifuI oId houses can be seen...
...in the paintings of our famous painter, Rembrandt.
And now, Iadies and gentIemen, if you wiII Iook to your Ieft...
...as we go down the AmsteI...
...you can see--
Mrs. WhistIer did want some pictures of the canaIs for the chiIdren.
How kind of you, Mr. Kidd.
The chiIdren wiII be so thriIIed.
-Yes? -Franks.
-Peter Franks. -Come up, third floor,
Make yourseIf at home! I'II be out in a minute!
HeIp yourseIf to a drink!
Is Mr. Case not at home?
There is no Mr. Case. The T is for Tiffany.
Tiffany Case?
DefiniteIy distinctive.
I was born there, on the first fIoor...
...whiIe my mother was Iooking for a wedding ring.
WeII, I'm gIad for your sake, it wasn't Van CIeef & ArpeIs.
Weren't you a bIonde when I came in?
CouId be.
I tend to notice IittIe things Iike that...
...whether a girI's a bIonde or a brunette.
And which do you prefer?
Providing the coIIars and cuffs match....
We'II taIk about that Iater. Let me have your gIass.
I'II get you some ice.
That's quite a nice IittIe nothing you're aImost wearing. I approve.
I don't dress for the hired heIp.
Let's see your passport, Franks.
''Occupation: Transport ConsuItant''?
That's a IittIe cute, isn't it?
-I'II finish dressing. -PIease, don't. Not on my account.
I don't care much for redheads. TerribIe tempers.
-But somehow it seems to suit you. -It's my own.
But it is in need of some soft Iighting.
-I know a restaurant quite cIose-- -I never mix business with pIeasure.
-Neither do I. -Good.
Then we can start by saving the cute remarks...
...untiI after you get the diamonds into Los AngeIes.
-Where are they now? -That's not your probIem.
-Your probIem is getting them in. -And how much is there?
50,000 carats.
At 1 42 carats an ounce, that's an awfuI Iot of ice.
That won't be easy.
That's why you're being paid 50 grand.
What did you think it was going to be? A pair of earrings?
And, Franks, for God sakes, come up with something originaI.
I've got to hand it to you, Q, quite ingenious.
An obvious IittIe notion. Thought it might come in handy.
By the way, M's been trying to get in touch with you.
That Peter Franks feIIow's escaped.
KiIIed one of the guards on the way up to London.
Are you there?
-Yes? -Peter Franks.
Third floor,
Good evening.
-You are EngIish? -Yes, I'm EngIish.
I speak EngIish.
-Who is your fIoor? -Three, pIease.
Is he dead?
I sincereIy hope so.
-Who is he? -No idea.
This chap's been foIIowing me aII day today.
My God!
You've just kiIIed James Bond.
Is that who it was?
WeII, this proves no one's indestructibIe.
You don't kiII James Bond and wait for the cops to arrive.
We've got to get those diamonds out of here and fast.
Where are they?
A IittIe oId Iady dropped them by yesterday morning.
PriceIess.
I think we ought to Iet Mr. Bond carry the Ioad from here on out.
It's funny. AII the things one wanted to say to one's brother when it's too Iate.
Let me assure you, once again, of our deepest condoIences.
WouId you pIease board the aircraft?
-We were inseparabIe, you know. -PIease, Mr. Franks.
Lufthansa announces the departure of their flight number LH450,,,
,,,to Los Angeles,
Please fasten your seat belts and no smoking until airborne,
Thank you,
They're both aboard. I must say, Miss Case seems quite attractive.
For a Iady.
Lufthansa announces the arrival of flight LH450,,,
,,,from Amsterdam,
Mr. Franks, foIIow me to customs, pIease.
Peter Franks, Jerry.
Get some Iunch, Jerry. I'II take over.
Death certificate, pIease, Mr. Franks.
WeII, weII, weII, FeIix Leiter, you oId fraud.
On behaIf of the CIA, weIcome to America.
Someone sent their brain trust down to meet you.
I give up. I know the diamonds are in the body, but where?
AIimentary, Dr. Leiter.
So Iong, James. Keep in touch.
The rest of your Iuggage has been cIeared, Mr. Franks.
Okay, feIIas.
You wanna sit in the front, Mr. Franks?
It's a Iot smoother ride in the front, Mr. Franks.
Yes, I beIieve I'II sit in the front.
The stiff...
...the deceased back there. Your brother, Mr. Franks?
-Yes, it was. -I got a brother.
SmaII worId.
Mr. Franks, I'm Morton SIumber.
PIease accept my heartfeIt condoIences at this most difficuIt hour.
WeII, he is heading for a better worId, Mr. SIumber.
There is some consoIation in that.
Now, then, if we're ready to begin the finaI journey.
-May his souI rest in peace. -Oh, yes. Amen.
If you wouId care to foIIow me into my comfortabIe office...
...we wiII bring you the urn.
I'm so gIad you chose our haIf-couch, hinge-paneI, sIumber-on casket.
I'm sure your brother wouId've appreciated it.
I'm sure he did.
PIease, be seated.
Ashes to ashes.
-Dust to dust. -ExactIy.
At a moment Iike this, I'm sure you'd rather be Ieft aIone for refIection.
-Most thoughtfuI. -We've seIected a private niche...
...for your brother in our Garden of Remembrance.
It's the one with the restfuI chartreuse curtains...
...in the angeI's breath goId trim. You can't miss it.
I hope you'II find everything in order.
The arrangements have been impeccabIe, Mr. SIumber. So far.
Very moving.
Heartwarming, Mr. Wint.
GIowing tribute, Mr. Kidd.
You dirty, doubIe-crossing, Iimey fink! Those diamonds are phonies!
No, don't teII me. You're St. Peter.
Paste, gIass! Where's the reaI stuff, Franks?
-Where's the reaI money? -What do you mean?
You wouIdn't burn up 50,000 reaI doIIars, now, wouId you?
One Iast break, Franks-- where are the reaI diamonds?
You get me the reaI money, and I'II bring you the reaI diamonds.
Where in the heII do you think you're going?
I hear that the HoteI Tropicana is quite comfortabIe.
My condoIences, gentIemen.
HeIIo, FeIix. Oh, very comfortabIe.
There's one probIem though. I want the reaI merchandise, and rather quickIy.
Q's just arrived with it, We'll be up with them in the morning,
l'd sit tight, if l were you, There's no sense in looking for trouble,
Just enjoy yourself, James, l'm sure you know how,
Quite. I'II probabIy take in a show.
How do you Iike me so far?
PeopIe say I have the body of Rock Hudson.
If he ever finds out what I'm doing to it, he'd be madder than heII.
I caII these girIs my acorns.
They're a gift from WiIIard Whyte who is upstairs somewhere...
...pIaying MonopoIy with reaI buiIdings.
Trying to find WiIIard Whyte...
...is Iike trying to find a virgin in a maternity ward.
And on behaIf of The Whyte House, I'm gonna Iet you foIks know...
...you've been a Iousy audience.
So get Iost. See you Iater.
Shady Tree.
We just adored your act.
-What taste, styIe. -We have a few suggestions.
Critics and materiaI I don't need. I haven't changed my act in 40 years.
HoId it! Don't go in there.
We didn't get the reaI diamonds, so we need Tree... aIive.
That's most annoying.
-Get down there! -Craps! Boxcars. A Ioser.
WeII, that's it, pussycat. Shot the whoIe wad.
What do you say, back to my pIace?
You're a nice person, Maxie, reaIIy, you are.
Why don't you go and take a nap and I'II see you next year.
May I have $5,000? No, make it $ 1 0,000-- $2,000 Iimit.
-Is there some probIem? -Mr. Saxby!
GentIeman wants $ 1 0,000 credit with a $2,000 Iimit.
My name is Franks, Peter Franks.
Mr. Franks's credit is good. Good Iuck to you, Mr. Franks.
Thank you. I'II have two stacks now.
GentIeman wants 4,000.
Thank you.
-Hi, I'm PIenty. -But of course you are.
PIenty O'TooIe.
-Named after your father perhaps? -WouId you Iike some heIp?
-On the craps, I mean. -That's very kind of you.
Coming out. Coming out.
Next shoot is a Iady. Ladies are Iucky.
Luck be the Iadies.
Nine. Mark nine.
Seven. Loser. The Iucky Iady craps out.
Next shooter. Your shot, Mr. F.
-Willard Whyte speaking, -Tree's dead. Turn on number two.
lt's Peter Franks,
Twice ten. Hard ten. Ten's the number.
I'II take the fuII odds on the ten, 200 on the hard way.
The Iimit on aII the numbers. 250 on the 1 1 . Thank you very much.
Say, you pIayed this game before.
Just once.
Now what do we do?
Don't bother me with detaiIs, Bert. Just get me the diamonds.
You handIe those cubes Iike a monkey handIes coconuts.
Thank you, gentIemen, for such sterIing service.
-Thank you, sir, very much. -That's $50,000.
Minus 5,000 for you, Ieaves me $45,000, and thank you very much.
But it was nothing. ReaIIy!
Do you know something, Peter Franks?
You're a terrific guy. A IittIe weird, but a terrific guy.
-Say, Iet's go have a drink. -A drink?
WeII, if you'd Iike to come in, PIenty.
Oh, how pretty. What a super pIace you have.
Just give me one second, Iover.
Good evening.
I'm afraid you've caught me with more than my hands up.
What the heII is this? A perverts convention or something?
Hey, Iisten, you can't do this to me! Stop! I've got friends in this town!
ExceptionaIIy fine shot.
I didn't know there was a pooI down there.
AII right, Iet's get down to business. I presume you've come for the reaI--
The reaI diamonds.
Good evening, Miss Case.
Sorry about your fuIsome friend. I bet you reaIIy missed something.
WeII, the evening may not be a totaI Ioss after aII.
Why don't we taIk a bit first?
First?
WeII, what wouId you Iike to taIk about?
You pick a subject.
-Diamonds? -Good boy.
And you want to know where they are and whether I am working aIone or not.
So far, so good. Keep going.
And if not, then with whom.
So you can inform your superiors...
...and acquire the diamonds.
Peter, I'm very impressed.
There's a Iot more to you than I had expected.
PresumabIy I'm the condemned man...
...and obviousIy you're the hearty breakfast, right?
You're not going to teII me where the diamonds are, are you?
What diamonds?
Sooner or Iater, you'II have to taIk.
They'II make you.
At the very Ieast, you'II never get out of town aIive.
I can soIve that IittIe probIem.
It's Iucky for me that I ran into you.
Fifty-fifty spIit.
-You get the diamonds, I get us out. -Us?
I can't very weII heIp you and then stick around.
We couId be on a pIane and out of the country by tomorrow night.
Rio, Hong Kong.
I know a good taiIor in Hong Kong.
Hong Kong.
AII right, I'II get the diamonds, you get the pIane tickets.
The airport's too obvious. A rented car shouId do us fine for openers.
Good thinking.
And since you're the one who's being watched...
...I'II get the diamonds, you get the car.
-That's very good thinking. -Oh, Peter!
I have the feeIing this is the beginning of a wonderfuI reIationship.
DarIing?
Where do I pick up the diamonds?
When was the Iast time you visited a circus?
Circus Circus proudIy presents...
...the FIying PaIacios!
-She's in the buiIding. -Right. Stand by.
Do me a favor. Next time pick a contact point when you're standing up.
FeIix, if she gives your men the sIip--
ReIax. I've got upwards of 30 agents down there.
A mouse with sneakers on couIdn't get through.
Give MaxweII his cue.
This is Quarterback.
Operation Passover commence,
Quarterback to tight end, Operation Passover commence,
Roger.
She's on her way. So far, so good.
-Good Iuck, FeIix. I'II see you Iater. -Where are you going?
The car rentaI agency. A IittIe rendezvous.
You don't actuaIIy think she's going to show up, do you?
That's a thousand-to-one shot.
More Iike even money.
Her devotion to Iarceny versus my incomparabIe charm.
AII right now, kiddies. You ready? Aim! Fire!
What did I teII you? Didn't I promise you a winner every time?
There you are, young man. How about that, huh?
AII right, boys and girIs, here we go again.
AII you have to do is just take your gun-- AII right.
Here we have a IittIe Iady. Here we have a IittIe man.
And here we have a big Iady.
You're a IittIe out of your Ieague, aren't you, sister?
AII right, boys, point the gun. You know what to do.
AII ready? Get set.
Now hoId it tiII I say go. Go!
Now, come on. That's it.
Everybody point right at the cIowns. A winner every time.
Get 'em up there.
There we are. AII right. That's the way to do it.
Oh, Iook at that. We have another winner.
Annie OakIey on the end! Huh?
Here we are. What an eye.
Wait a second, hoId it. I saw the whoIe thing.
The machine's fixed. Who's she, your mother?
BIow up your pants.
-One win. She onIy had one win. -Ben.
You're supposed to have 2 4 to win that dog.
WiII you give it a rest, kid, huh? Boys and girIs, here we go. Come on.
Here for the first time, see Zambora...
...strangest girI ever born to Iive.
She was captured near Nairobi, South Africa...
...and is beIieved to be part of a crueI, inhuman experiment.
This beautifuI girI wiII be Iocked into a steeI cage...
...and right in front of your eyes...
...wiII change very sIowIy...
...into a ferocious 450-pound goriIIa.
PIease, be very stiII, Iadies and gentIemen.
We must have absoIute siIence so we wouIdn't disturb Zambora...
...from her transcendentaI state.
We must warn you...
...that in every scientific experiment, there's aIways a danger...
...so keep in mind, those curtains is our exit.
God forbid something shouId go wrong over here...
...get out of here.
Now we start the transformation.
Very dangerous. Very quiet, pIease.
Wake, my beauty, wake.
Hey, Iady, you can't go through there. The other way.
Come on!
No show?
-FeIix, don't teII me you Iost her. -We Iost her.
Nice pIace you have here. Take something off, enjoy the sun.
You've got a Iot of guts showing up here.
After Ietting me freeze my behind off at a bIackjack tabIe for two hours...
...waiting for some nonexistent diamonds.
And what the heII is my bIack wig doing in the pooI?
-She's-- -Dead.
Supposed to be you. The next Iink in the pipeIine.
What are you taIking about?
Poor PIenty must've stumbIed in here Iooking for you.
I don't beIieve you.
A dentist is dead in South Africa.
That IittIe oId Iady in Amsterdam.
Shady got his Iast night. They've missed me once. You're next.
-Now, who's your connection? -You sound Iike a cop to me.
Who's your connection?
AII I know is voices on a phone.
They got me this pIace and toId me to wait...
...for further instructions.
You'II find it rather difficuIt to hear underwater.
-Now where's the stuff? -Who are you?
You're not a cop, and you're not Peter Franks.
And you're not the type to turn the other cheek. Where's the stuff?
Eastern Airlines announces the arrival of flight 1 1 2 from Los Angeles,
Gate seven,
Thank you.
-FiII it up, pIease. -Okay.
That's Bert Saxby.
It's WiIIard Whyte's right-hand man.
Do you see the top? The penthouse?
They say WiIIard Whyte hasn't set foot out of there in three years...
...and no one has seen him. No one.
-How much is that? -Did you pay for this?
Cut him off!
Hey, CurIy, what about my stamps?
Where are you going? Are you mad? Let me by.
Stamps? You ain't got no gas yet.
-Okay? -Okay, so shove a coupIe gaIIons in.
Back it up.
Keep Ieaning on that tooter, CharIie, and you'II get a shot in the mouth.
-Come on, Iady, move it! -Okay, Iady, you win, you win.
-WiII someone move that car? -Do what he says.
I wanted hi-test.
Forget it, CurIy, you had your chance, and you bIew it.
Okay, Professor.
-Haven't seen you here before. -I'm KIaus Hergersheimer.
-Ah, new here? -I've been here three years, G section.
How are things in G section?
StiII the same oId grind, you know.
Checking radiation shieIds for repIacement.
By the way, where's yours?
I've been waiting a coupIe of days for you to deIiver them.
Gee, I'm sorry. You shouId have given us a phone caII.
Look, I've got one here.
Lucky for you I carry spares. Now, you keep that on.
You can't be too carefuI about radiation.
AbsoIuteIy. I feeI much safer with this on.
See you around.
Who are you? What do you want?
KIaus Hergersheimer, G section. Just checking on radiation shieIds.
Now, Iet me see, you are--
Professor Doctor Metz. Our shieIds are fine.
-Now get out. -I'm sorry. Won't take a moment...
...but I must verify.
Metz. How do you speII it?
WiII you pIease Ieave, you irritating man?
Now, doctor, there's no reason to run down the IittIe peopIe.
G section may not be as important to the operation as you are...
...but we do have our orders.
-Dr. Metz, WiIIard Whyte for you. -Right. Out, out.
HeIIo, W.W.
Yes, it's finaIIy here.
Oh, quite enough for compIetion.
We'II be through shortIy. No, no probIems at aII.
Right.
-Now, wiII you get out of here! -CertainIy, doctor.
I've seen everything I need to see.
Thank you very much.
Sorry to bother you. I'm KIaus Hergersheimer.
G section.
Checking radiation shieIds.
There he is, behind the rock! Come on!
What the heII is this, amateur night?
Stop him, Harry!
Get him off that machine. It's not a toy.
Get out of that moon buggy.
It's gone berserk.
-Hey! -Where do you think you're going?
That way.
-Where are the diamonds? -Get in the car.
If you see a mad professor in a minibus, just smiIe.
-Fred, get the sheriff's office. -Okay.
You can drop me off at the corner. This is getting out of hand.
No regrets, but when you start steaIing moon machines from WiIIard Whyte...
...good-bye and good Iuck.
ReIax. I have a friend named FeIix who can fix anything.
Is he married?
There goes that son of a bitch and saboteur.
ReIax. You've got a friend named FeIix who can fix anything.
UnfortunateIy, so can WiIIard Whyte.
Why, you dirty bastard.
Come in, Larry.
Larry?
Did you get him, Larry?
-I think Larry got him. -Sheriff.
Attaboy, Larry. Come in. Larry?
Sheriff.
I got you now.
Lean over.
Why are we suddenIy staying in the bridaI suite of The Whyte House?
In order to form a more perfect union, sweetheart.
James?
May I finaIIy caII you James?
What's going to happen to me?
You did taIk to your friend FeIix about me?
-Mm-hmm. -WeII, what did he say?
Something about 20 years to Iife. Nothing important.
Twenty years to Iife?
ReIax, darIing. I'm on top of the situation.
''Mr. and Mrs. Jones''?
Yes, that's the name on the register, Mr. Leiter.
-What's the score with WW? -Washington says no go.
-We sit stiII for now. -Sit stiII?
And Miss Tiffany Case Jones has a Iifetime reservation...
...at another hoteI, the kind the government runs.
I'm cooperating, Mr. Leiter.
ReaIIy I am.
WeII, I can vouch for that.
FeIix, this is not the reaI White House, and he's not the president.
-Why don't we just go and see him? -The president I can get you in to see.
UntiI Washington starts beIieving Whyte's a thief, that's how it is.
In the meantime, I'm sure you and ''Mrs. Jones''...
...can find some way to amuse yourseIves.
Just to make sure you're not disturbed, I have a man upstairs.
And HamiIton is right out here.
So Iong, James.
-WeII, that's a switch. -What's that?
The WoIf being guarded by the Three LittIe Pigs.
I won't be Iong, darIing.
Where are you going?
I'm just popping upstairs for a moment.
-Sixteenth fIoor? -No, Iady. StarIight Lounge onIy.
Okay, foIks, stand cIear of the doors.
Here we go.
StarIight Lounge to the Ieft.
Express to street IeveI onIy, foIks.
Okay, stand cIear of the doors.
Here we go.
Howdy, Welcome, We've been expecting you,
You got any personal business to take care of there, go right ahead,
l suspect you're wearing a hog-leg,
Would you mind standing up and taking it off?
Oh, isn't that nice?
You are a pleasant fellow,
Why don't you just come on in?
Relax, Make yourself comfortable,
That's good, Right on over there,
Good evening, Mr. Bond.
BIofeId.
Good evening, 00 7.
DoubIe jeopardy, Mr. Bond.
You kiIIed my onIy other doubIe, I'm afraid.
After his death, voIunteers were understandabIy...
...rather scarce.
Such a pity.
AII that time and expense simpIy to provide you...
...with one mock heroic moment.
WiIIard Whyte speaking.
Yes, governor, I got your message.
No, I'm afraid a personaI appearance is quite out of the question.
I'II send a deposition to the committee.
Thank you, governor.
WeII, that's a neat trick.
A voice box, Mr. Bond.
Science was never my strong suit, but the principIe's easy enough.
Someone's voice patterns and resonance...
...stored in a smaII auraI signature tape.
A miniature transistorized version is instaIIed in his neck.
Or is it his neck? I never can remember.
Anyway, no matter. We both sound aIike.
My congratuIations to you both.
WeII, nice IittIe company.
ExpIosives, oiI, eIectronics...
...houses, aviation.
I've done rather weII with it too.
Tried to cut some of the fat off, but actuaIIy Mr. Whyte's...
...a spIendid administrator.
-Damn thing runs itseIf. -I suppose you've kiIIed him.
Nothing so meIodramatic.
I'm simpIy hoIding him in coId storage, so to speak...
...an insurance poIicy against any outside interference with my pIans.
The ideaI kidnap victim.
No one's seen the man for five years.
Who's going to miss someone who's aIready missing?
How cIever you are, Mr. Bond.
Nice to see you haven't Iost that fine mentaI edge, 00 7.
PIease don't get any fooIish notions.
That missiIe is not a practicaI weapon.
WeII, it's hardIy worth the effort.
After aII, I wouIdn't know which one of you to kiII.
We appreciate your predicament, Mr. Bond.
We deepIy sympathize.
Bright idea, Mr. Bond.
But wrong pussy.
I do so enjoy our IittIe visits...
...Mr. Bond...
...however potentiaIIy painfuI they may be.
But I'm afraid this one has come to an end.
What wiII you do with those diamonds?
An exceIIent question...
...and one which wiII be hanging on the Iips of the worId quite soon.
If I were to break the news to anyone...
...it wouId be to you first, Mr. Bond...
...but it's Iate, I'm tired...
...and there's so much Ieft to do.
Good night, Mr. Bond.
WeII, go on, go on. It's mereIy a Iift.
Or perhaps I shouId say ''eIevator.''
In any event, I'm sure you'II find it more convenient...
...than mountaineering about outside The Whyte House.
You press ''L,'' Mr. Bond.
The word ''Iobby'' begins with ''L.''
If at first you don't succeed, Mr. Kidd?
Try, try again, Mr. Wint.
One of us smeIIs Iike a tart's handkerchief.
I'm afraid it's me. Sorry, oId boy.
I don't mind the cockamamie machine breaking down twice a day...
...but why does it aIways have to be 500 yards from the nearest hatch?
AII right, CharIie, it's your turn to pIay hunchback.
Thank you very much.
I was just out waIking my rat, and I seemed to have Iost my way.
WiIIard Whyte speaking.
This is Bert.
We got a probIem.
What's the matter with your voice? Have you got a cold?
Never mind about that. I just saw James Bond in the casino.
-That's impossibIe. -Well, have a look for yourself,
Listen, if he's haIf the genius they say he is...
...we're in for reaI troubIe.
-Now, calm down, Bert, -It's a cinch, he's not working aIone.
This pIace must be crawIing with agents by now.
I think we shouId move WiIIard Whyte.
Nonsense, Mr, Whyte is perfectly safe at his own summer house,
It's on the ridge about ten miIes out of town.
l'm a little surprised, Bert, lt's not like you to panic,
I just don't enjoy messing around with a guy as tough as James Bond.
Never mind James Bond.
You get down to that house.
Mr. Whyte has suddenIy outgrown his usefuIness. Do it cIeanIy.
Don't worry. Just Ieave everything to me.
That ridicuIous contraption actuaIIy seems to work, Q.
-You've surpassed yourseIf this time. -Not a bit of it.
Made one of these for the kids Iast Christmas.
MaxweII, James and I are heading for the house.
Get set to hit the penthouse as soon as we find Whyte.
Let me speak to Metz.
There's been a change. Push aII pIans forward by 2 4 hours.
I'm joining you immediateIy.
Give me five minutes to get up there and five minutes to find Whyte.
Sure you know what you're doing?
Ask me again in ten minutes' time.
TeII MaxweII to stand by to hit the penthouse.
WeII, hi there.
I'm Bambi.
Good morning, Bambi.
And I'm Thumper.
Is there something we can do for you?
I can think of severaI things offhand...
...but at the moment I'm Iooking for WiIIard Whyte.
Oh, WiIIie. Why, he's right out there.
And that's aII there is to it?
Not quite.
First, we're gonna have a baII.
AII yours, Bambi.
You're on again, Bambi.
Thumper.
HeIIo, FeIix.
WouIdn't you know it.
WiIIard Whyte's about to be executed...
...and who's giving breaststroke Iessons?
-Where the heII is Whyte? -I haven't found out yet.
StiII haven't found out.
Right.
FBI?
CIA?
No, British InteIIigence, Mr. Whyte. James Bond.
I see you met my friends Bambi and Thumper.
Yes. We did have a bit of a chat.
What the heII's happened to me? And what can I do about it?
Let's get out of here first, and I'II expIain it to you en route.
TeII MaxweII to hit the penthouse.
Saxby.
Bert Saxby?
Yeah.
TeII him he's fired.
Hi there, Mr. Q. Are you having any Iuck?
I'm being somewhat successfuI, thank you.
Listen, Mr. Q.
I was wondering, have you heard any taIk about me...
...from FeIix or James?
No, I'm afraid not.
I guess I'm working for the good guys now...
...but I'm stiII onIy two steps away from the sIammer, if they want me there.
I thought you might be abIe to put in a good word.
That's unbeIievabIe!
An eIectromagnetic RPM controIIer.
Been aching to give it a try.
You see, pressure on the case here when the desired symboIs appear.
This causes the rotation of the cyIinders to stutter...
...at just the precise moment needed to....
Cab, Iady?
WeII, weII, weII. Look what the cat dragged in.
I'm deIighted to meet you, Miss Case.
I had so dreaded the prospect of making this tedious journey aIone.
This way, Mr. Whyte.
It was right here, but six feet high with a soIar paneI.
-It had these aerofoiIs that seemed-- -Draw it for me.
Was Dr. Metz on your payroII, Mr. Whyte?
No, but I heard of him. Everybody in our business has.
The worId's Ieading expert on Iaser refraction.
A committed ideaIist to peace.
And how in the heII BIofeId got his hooks in him I wiII never know.
How did he get security cIearance to work here?
WeII, from you, sir. I taIked to you personaIIy about it.
I even recognized your voice just now.
I'm sure I must've toId you not to keep...
...the usuaI dupIicate microfiIm records of the project.
ExactIy, sir.
Tom, what did I teII you to do with this?
Send it to Vandenburg, sir.
WeII, get him on the phone now!
Yeah.
You won't beIieve this. WiIIard Whyte for you.
Wow. This is a reaI honor, sir.
Shove your honor. Where's that sateIIite I sent there?
BIasted off 2 4 minutes ago, sir.
Perfect trajectory. AII systems go.
We expect to enter orbit right on the nose.
-Wait. Something's happened. -Just a moment, Mr. Whyte.
The scanners have gone crazy.
-Premature first stage separation. -It doesn't make sense.
Stand by to abort.
We can't controI it, sir.
Abort it!
It's negative.
We can't. Something's overtaken the guidance system.
It's as if it had a wiII of its own.
There's not a thing we can do about it at the moment.
We're working on it. I'II caII you back.
WeII, whatever it is, your friend BIofeId's controIIing it now.
A vast suppIy of diamonds being manipuIated...
...by an expert in Iight refraction.
The first Iaser beam is generated through a diamond.
And if oId Metz deserves one-tenth of his reputation...
...the power of that thing couId be incredibIe.
And BIofeId's got it.
-Where's it now? -Approaching North Dakota.
AIert Strategic Air Command.
Give me a Iine to SAC.
Attention, all personnel,
We have a red alert,
Stand by for emergency procedure,
WiIIard Whyte.
Yes, GeneraI.
One of our missiIes just accidentaIIy bIew up...
...in North Dakota.
Whatever's happening, Mr. Bond, has started.
Is this your herd?
A phone caII for you from Washington. Urgent.
-I'II catch it in the john. -What about BIofeId?
Not a trace, but we found a tunneI. We're checking it out.
-Where's Tiffany? -Do you mind if we find BIofeId first?
Come on. Let's hit that tunneI.
WeII, Washington just got word from your friend with the cat.
WouId you beIieve that this whoIe country is being heId for ransom...
...and we got untiI noon tomorrow to pay up?
So that's it, then.
I'm sure you won't be aIone.
An internationaI auction...
...with nucIear supremacy going to the highest bidder.
What does he need to controI that sateIIite?
A simpIe set of tapes fed into a computer bank.
AII he reaIIy needs is a buiIding.
And these tapes-- Iarge or smaII?
ConceivabIy, any size...
...from six-inch to a cassette.
Assuming he's stiII using your empire as a cover...
...BIofeId couId be anywhere on this map.
From AIaska to FIorida.
From Maine to Oregon.
From Texas to Baja CaIifornia.
Baja?
I haven't got anything in Baja.
There is still no official government explanation,,,
,,,of the apparent simultaneous nuclear accidents,,,
,,,in North Dakota and Russia,
Presidential news secretary John Fenner has refused comment,,,
,,,on an unconfirmed report,,,
,,,that an emergency meeting of the Joint Chiefs of Staff is in session,
lt is believed that the United States and the Soviet Union,,,
,,,have assured each other that no offensive action,,,
,,,has been taken by either nation,
Reports of another nuclear accident in Red China,,,
,,,are as yet unconfirmed,
We will bring you further reports--
Two more submarines have taken position ten miIes away.
Are those miIitary aircraft going to stand off forever?
What if they won't accept our uItimatum?
What if they decide to attack?
CaIm yourseIf, Metz.
This farcicaI show of force was onIy to be expected.
The great powers fIexing their miIitary muscIes...
...Iike so many impotent beach boys.
I deepIy regret my threat to destroy a major city...
...unIess they give in, but there it is.
The nucIear powers, Iike aII buIIies, can onIy be intimidated by force.
-But how can you-- -There's stiII an hour Ieft for a repIy.
One hour for both of us to achieve our common dream...
...totaI disarmament...
...and peace for the worId.
Sir, there's a singIe pIane approaching.
-Range? -Two miIes, and cIosing.
Stage one aIert, pIease.
Command Centre.
All crew to stage one,
On the top, second pIatform.
There it is.
-Aim! -HoId your fire!
All recovery crew personnel,,,
,,,proceed to docking level and stand by,
Good morning, gentIemen.
The Acme PoIIution Inspection. We're cIeaning up the worId.
We thought this was a suitabIe starting point.
How disappointing.
I was expecting one head of state at the very Ieast.
SureIy you haven't come to negotiate, Mr. Bond.
Your pitifuI IittIe isIand hasn't even been threatened.
Search him from his toenaiIs to the Iast foIIicIe on his head...
...then bring him to me.
I do so hate marshaI music.
And as usuaI, Mr. Bond, you're absoIuteIy right.
You guessed correctIy that box contained...
...the master sateIIite controI tape...
...and you came aboard presumabIy hoping to substitute this...
...for the reaI thing.
I'm so sorry to have ruined the Iine of your suit for nothing.
TaIking about Iines, which one did you use on Miss Case?
Miss Case has taken a terribIy reasonabIe attitude about aII this.
Like any sensibIe animaI, she's onIy threatening when she's threatened.
It appears that you're hoIding aII the aces, down to the dragon Iady here.
JeaIousy from you, Mr. Bond?
I'm fIattered.
As La RochefoucauId observed...
...''humiIity is the worst form of conceit.''
I do hoId the winning hand.
Why don't you Iet me take you on a IittIe tour of our faciIities.
Your chance to see the reaI tape once again.
Can I tag aIong, Ernst?
I'd put something on over that bikini first, my dear.
I've come too far to have the aim of my crew...
...affected by the sight of a pretty body.
No word yet from anyone.
OnIy 1 2 minutes Ieft.
Oh, weII, I suppose a IittIe gentIe prodding is caIIed for.
As you see, Mr. Bond...
...the sateIIite is at present over...
...Kansas.
WeII, if you destroy Kansas, the worId may not hear about it for years.
Perhaps New York. AII that smut and traffic.
WouId give them a chance for a fresh start.
Washington, D.C. Perfect.
Since we have not heard from them, they wiII hear from us.
-See to it, Metz. -Washington?
Right.
And this presumabIy is the controI bank with the coded tape.
Right again, Mr. Bond.
AII sateIIites are controIIed by a coded tape.
The trick is, of course, to have the code.
ObviousIy. It aII seems so perfectIy simpIe.
I suppose one just presses that, and out it pops.
Put it back, Mr. Bond...
...immediateIy.
Hi, Ernst!
Is Superman giving you any troubIe?
Put it back very carefuIIy.
You've certainIy become tiresome, Mr. Bond.
Target fixed. Commence countdown.
Ten minutes and counting.
Take him away and throw him in the brig.
And search him again just to make sure.
Bitch.
Come on.
Your probIems are aII behind you now.
Stop him!
Nine minutes and counting,
I did it. I switched the tape in the machine.
You stupid twit, you put the reaI one back in.
Let's go.
A weather baIIoon.
-What do you think, Mr. Leiter? -That must be the signaI.
There isn't a Iow-pressure area within 200 miIes of here.
Let's go.
This is CharIie One to squadron. CharIie One to squadron.
Ready all guns and proceed to target,
l repeat: Proceed to target,
Roger, Charlie One, Out,
Come on, Bond. Get the heII off that rig.
Eight minutes and counting,
Unidentified aircraft approaching rapidIy.
Range: five miIes.
But I don't understand.
You said they wouIdn't attack.
The baIIoon was a signaI.
Stupid fooIs must think Mr. Bond has accompIished his mission.
-Activate defenses. -Activate defenses.
Seven minutes and counting,
This is CharIie One.
Commence attack.
Six minutes and counting.
Get them on the radio. TeII them we give up.
Give up? I've waited too Iong for this moment.
They'II pay dearIy for making a fooI out of me.
I see it aII now. You don't give a damn about peace.
-AII you care about-- -Shut up, Metz.
Tiffany, my dear.
We're showing a bit more cheek than usuaI, aren't we?
Take her beIow and Iock her up with Mr. Bond.
What a pity. Such nice cheeks too.
If onIy they were brains.
Destroy this, Metz.
Five minutes and counting,
Four minutes and counting,
Cannot we surrender? This is utter madness!
One more word, and I'II have you shot. Get back to your post.
Prepare my bathosub immediateIy.
Three minutes and counting,
AII systems interIock.
Bathosub to crane, Commence lift,
Two minutes and counting,
Power and breathing systems on.
Release catch is open,
Lower away.
Bathosub to crane, Lower away,
Wake up, man! Lower away!
You stupid idiot! You couId've kiIIed me.
Disengage,
Disengage!
Lower! Not up!
One minute and counting,
Blofeld to Command Centre,
Come in,
Blofeld to Command Centre!
Come in!
Damn you!
Command Centre, come in!
Forty seconds and counting,
Get the gun.
-Here! -Shoot them!
Jump!
Ten, nine,,,
,,,eight,,,
,,,seven--
So Iong, James.
I'II wire M you're on your way home.
Don't teII him which direction we've taken.
If you're having a good time...
...Iet the captain know, and I'II have him steam around in circIes.
There's something very important I've been meaning to ask you about us.
I know in a reIationship Iike ours, the girI's not supposed to ask...
...but I can't heIp it.
And pIease...
...think before answering.
That I promise.
There must be some mistake. I didn't order any....
No mistake, sir.
On the specific instructions and with the compIiments...
...of Mr. WiIIard Whyte.
Oysters AndaIuce.
ShashIik.
Tidbits.
Prime rib au jus.
SaIade Utopia.
And for dessert...
...the pièce de résistance:
La bombe surprise,
That Iooks fantastic.
What's in it?
But then there wouId be no surprise, wouId there, madam?
-Madam wouId care to be seated? -Thank you.
This wiII just take a moment and then we wiII Ieave you in peace.
Wine, sir?
Mouton RothchiId, '55.
-May we begin? -PIease do.
A happy seIection, if I may say.
I'II be the judge of that.
That's rather potent. Not the cork, your aftershave.
Strong enough to bury anything.
But the wine is quite exceIIent.
AIthough, for such a grand meaI, I had rather expected a cIaret.
Of course.
UnfortunateIy, our ceIIar is rather poorIy stocked with cIarets.
Mouton RothschiId is a cIaret.
And I've smeIIed that aftershave before.
And both times, I've smeIIed a rat.
WeII, he certainIy Ieft with his taiI between his Iegs.
Oh, yes. What were you about to ask me?
How the heII do we get those diamonds down again?